Love You Forever Kindle ¼ Love You PDF/EPUB or

Love You Forever An extraordinarily different story by Robert Munsch is a gentle affirmation of the love a parent feels for their child forever Sheila McGraw s soft and colorful pastels perfectly complement the sentiment of the book one that will be read repeatedly for years I m not feeling the love, but I definitely am feeling the creeps.I get the point unconditional and everlasting love, hence the three stars But that s just not how you do it man I like what the book is saying, I just don t like how it s saying it Maybe, just maybe, I would ve appreciated this storyas a kid, when I saw the world through innocent and unspotted eyes, but now I know such words like STALKER, PEEPING TOM, OBSESSIVE CREEP, LOONEY Nooooooo I just can t overlook how disturbin I m not feeling the love, but I definitely am feeling the creeps.I get the point unconditional and everlasting love, hence the three stars But that s just not how you do it man I like what the book is saying, I just don t like how it s saying it Maybe, just maybe, I would ve appreciated this storyas a kid, when I saw the world through innocent and unspotted eyes, but now I know such words like STALKER, PEEPING TOM, OBSESSIVE CREEP, LOONEY Nooooooo I just can t overlook how disturbing this is I really couldn t enjoy this book How do I fall asleep now I just wanted something sweet sniffs This is definitely better than Edward Cullen s night watch sessions Or maybe not Maybe a lover watching his love sleep is better But still, mothers creeping across floors and through windows at night, rocking and singing love songs to teenage boys and grown men In their sleep Someone needs a lesson on privacy There s nothing I hatethan an unwelcome and unpermitted invasion of privacy and simply put, STALKING And the grown man takes this habit up and suddenly I can foresee it becoming something of a legacy I love my father, I really do and besides, even my father would agree with me completely I don t know about anyone else, but I love when I m awake and my father says I love you because AWAKE, like I can hear it, feel it and appreciate it and say it back But thisjust NO Like bloody hell You want to rock and sing to me Wait till I am conscious You have to read this creepy little book Licha, thank you so much for introducing this little gem to me A MAZING So, I gathered 3 of my kids ages 7, 10, 12 around last night, and told them I wanted to get their opinion on a book view spoiler Would have loved to get the 15 year old s opinion, but he was busy sleeping off the previous night s video game marathon hide spoiler You can imagine their excitement when I pulled out a baby book titled Love You Forever The room was practically You have to read this creepy little book Licha, thank you so much for introducing this little gem to me A MAZING So, I gathered 3 of my kids ages 7, 10, 12 around last night, and told them I wanted to get their opinion on a book view spoiler Would have loved to get the 15 year old s opinion, but he was busy sleeping off the previous night s video game marathon hide spoiler You can imagine their excitement when I pulled out a baby book titled Love You Forever The room was practically buzzing with anticipation not even a little bit The cover looks totally innocuous Which makes what s inside so fucking freaktastic So the story opens with this mom rocking her baby and singing this little songI ll love you forever.I ll like you for always, As long as I m livingmy baby you ll be.My 7 year old girl is now snuggling in for what she thinks will be a good story My 10 year old daughter says Awww, and cuddles in on the other side My 12 year old son raises an eyebrow, but still tucks his feet under him, and settles in on the couch.The next page is the kid dumping shit in the toilet, and making a general mess while his mother says, This kid is driving me CRAZY We could each relate to that scene in our own way.Because children are horrible And messy Dawwww.Ok That first bit lulled us into a false sense of security because I turned the page andJUMP SCARE Every one of my kids jolted at this picture The 10 year old scream squeal Oh my God Like, what s she doing Only, you have to imagine that she sounds like a Valley Girl with a southern accent Because she does, and it makes everything she says 10xhilarious.This woman scuttled across the kid s floor once he was asleep, eyeballed him all weird like, then picked him up, rocked him, and sang her freaky song Bitch, nobody picks up an already sleeping baby You check to make sure they re still breathing, thank your lucky fucking stars that you have a few hours to yourself, and then quietly back the hell out of the room What you don t do is introduce noise and motion Ever.Up next, the boy is 9 years old He s up to all sorts of 9 year old shenaniganslike not wanting to take a bathand he s still driving his mom crazy Like children do.But every night, mom still crawls across his floor and looks up over the side of his bed to see if he s really asleep And, if he is, she rocks him and sings the song.The question of Why the fuck is she CRAWLING across his floor was a popular one in our house Even my 7 year old knew that wasn t normal My son was actuallyconcerned with why she felt the need to rock him without his knowing about itOn the next page, her son has become some sort of teenage Elvis impersonator.Because Well, because that s what all the cool kids are doing these days.And while he might be a rascally young lad, his mamma still crawls into his room to rock him in her arms and croon to him each night.This picture caused yet another round of Ugh JeezandWhat theout of all of us I mean, look at it LOOK AT IT.Never Never have I crawled on my belly like a soldier into my teenage son s room And never have I attempted to pick up his massive frame and rock him on my lap Asleep or not First, because he s bigger than I am and he d crush my legs Second, I can t even imagine the upper body strength that sort of thing would require Third, and I feel most importantly, I m not a creeper.Now, that s not to say I m not affectionate I hug him Lots view spoiler mostly against his will b c he s a teenager hide spoiler Just not while he s unconscious.Well, on the next page this poor boy finally escapes.He grows up and moves across town.I swear, there was an audible sigh of relief from my son when we got to this page You could see that he was actively rooting for this guy to get away from Mother Bates My 7 year old had the scrunchy face look going on because she could tell something was not quite right with this woman, but she doesn t have enough life experience yet to pinpoint what it is But my 10 year old really pegged it when she said, Ha What s she gonna dosneak across town to get himAnd we all laughed Nervously.Spoiler Alert Across Town was apparently NOT far enough away This crazy chick bungied a freaking ladder to the top of her car, and drove to his new placeat night Sweet baby Jesus, save us If all the lights in her son s house were out, she opened his bedroom window, crawled across the floor, and looked up over the side of his bed.I felt dirty just reading that out loud shudder If that great big man was really asleep she picked him up and rocked him back and forth, back and forth, back and forth.Uuuuuuuugh And while she rocked him she sang I ll love you forever, I ll like you for always, As long as I m livingmy baby you ll be.The kids are all coming off the couch, gesturing wildly at the picture, and just freaking the fuck out in general, at this point This woman has crossed the line BIG TIME.And even the 7 year old knew it.But wait There sOn the next page, the old lady is old She calls her son and says You d better come see me because I m very old and sick.About damn time, I say.Anyway, when her son gets to her door, this lunatic starts in with her disturbing chant I ll love you forever,I ll like you for always My son inserts a gagging sound here because she can t finish due to being too old and sick.My children and I cackle Loudly Aw, but don t worry, her son picks her up instead of calling 911 and does his own rendition of the nightmarish song I ll love you forever, I ll like you for always,As long as I m livingmy Mommy you ll be OH MY GOD He was awake every time she did that This was my 12 year old boy He was understandably freaked out that her son knew the words to this frightening little ditty since the book specifically stated that Mommy made sure he was asleep each time she crept into his room to sing it So, not only was the mom a lunatic, but the son was evidently cool with it this was particularly worrisome to him.In his mind, no normal boy would find this sort of behavior endearing.And, I gotta agree with him.This shit might have flown up till he was 9, but beyond that No.And especially not a teenage boy.Here s how that scenario would have gone down in real life Momtiptoetiptoe Son Moooooom Christ Get out Momslinks back out Sonresumes trying to get around parental porn block on tablet Ok, ok Last page Again, you re sorta lulled into thinking that it s over because the old woman is presumably dead.But, no.The cycle continues.Oh, yes Because, evidently, some woman was chill with this freaky old broad randomly sneaking into her home and cuddling with her husband.She was cool enough with it that she let this mamma s boy get her pregnant.So, now he s gonna do this dance with his daughter I ll love you foreverslams book shut, runs screaming from room Alright, now in this book s defense and all the people who love it , it s almost certainly not meant to be taken literally It s meant to show how long a parent s love lasts No matter what they do, no matter how old they get, your children will always be your babies And, I admit, it s hard to watch mine grow up and not need me as much any Will they still love me once I m not an integral part of their everyday lives What happens when it s not important that I sign their report cards, take them to friend s houses, and cook them dinner What about once they re ready to move out Will I be ready for it Hell no.But at least now I know I can threaten to strap a ladder to the top of my car and pay them a midnight visit if they don t routinely call me.Would I ever really do that Probably not.Still, they owe me and I better hear from them on the regular Why, you ask Because this was our actual Christmas card one year Love you forever, Stalk you for always Ok, in response to the haters let me state that I do not mind one bit that many people have been touched and uplifted and LOVE this book It just doesn t work for me At all And I m allowed to have a different opinion that you let me say first that I understand this is an allegory about unconditional love between parent childbut does this book come off a little creepy to anyone else 1 It starts out okbut about the time Love you forever, Stalk you for always Ok, in response to the haters let me state that I do not mind one bit that many people have been touched and uplifted and LOVE this book It just doesn t work for me At all And I m allowed to have a different opinion that you let me say first that I understand this is an allegory about unconditional love between parent childbut does this book come off a little creepy to anyone else 1 It starts out okbut about the time the kid gets to be a teenager I just start to feel uncomfortable Would I be ok with my mom slipping into my teenage brothers rooms while they re sleeping to cuddle and sing a love song No, probably not 2 I think it s weird there s only female figures mentioned mom and grandma Where s the dad later when the mom is sick the only pictures on her wall are of the kid, no husband or parents again, kinda weird And later on in the book when the kid is grown up where is the mom to his baby single dads are awesome but the absence of characters is chilling here.3 This mom I seriously think has issues with letting her children go Once a man gets married the woman in their life isn t you it s the wife And when children grow up and become adults and you should have an adult to adult relationship with them Quit trying to cuddle them 4 When it gets to the part of the old woman tying a ladder to her roof and driving across town with the lights off, then sneaking in the son s window to cuddle and sing the love song I just want to scream, AAAGH, she s coming Lock the windows RUN creee py 5 Okay, just think about if this dad goes on to have the same behavior with his own daughter The dad sneaking in on the teenage daughter to hold her, or later on when she s married he s climbing through her window to her bed 6 I really don t think it s good writing With children s books I like them to have rhyme and rhythm and be easy to read I felt like I was stumbling over words 7 Despite all this Ellie still likes the book, and I see the point it s trying to make, although I don t agree with the method And I know I m being too literal, but seriously if you look at this book literally it will give you nightmares Just for fun read it to someone purposefully trying to be creepy just as an experiment Trust me, you ll agree with me after that.Darik doesn t necessarily like it when I call the book Love you forever,Stalk you for always.But I do anyways Hey parents, do you want to read a children s book that will make you cry uncontrollably from the third page all the way to the end of the book Well look no further, this is the book for you Honestly It s a very sweet book But get ready to do all the crying while your little kid looks up at you, with an expression that says, Seriously dad, what the fuck Do you need a tissue or something

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